One Month

Hey Guys!

How is this fine Thursday treating you?  I can’t say that I didn’t wish it was Friday at 5:31pm, but I can say that the sun is finally shining here in CT and that makes me a happy girl!

I was looking at my calendar today and even though I already realized I had to do a lot in a short amount of time, it really hit me that in just one month a lot will be changing.

One month from today I’ll be sitting on a beach in Mexico, basking in the sun (hopefully…knock on wood).  This will be my first real, extended vacation since I went to Florida back in high school.  Yes, we went to Bermuda in October, but that was only for a few days, the weather worked against us and we were with my boyfriend’s company.  This time we’ll really be able to kick back, relax and enjoy ourselves.  I’m SO EXCITED!!

In one month I’ll be a year older.  I’ll be turning the ripe old age of 32 on March 10th.  Have I ever mentioned that growing older is a fear of mine?  This year, things don’t seem to be bothering me much with that.  I think turning 30 was the hardest for me.  I have so many things to be thankful for in my life right now that for once I’m excited about the future, living in the present and not continuously wishing I could change things in the past.  Wishing will never change anything.  Making changes in the present will though.

In one month my boyfriend has some changes coming.  I can’t mention them right now, just in case anyone he knows is reading.  It’s really his accomplishment to share so I’ll wait until the time is right.

That same lucky guy of mine has even more changes coming into his life because this chicky is going to start moving herself into his space.    The great thing with us is that we really balance each other out.  He’s more outspoken and I tend to hold back; however, I think that each of us has rubbed off on the other.  Recently, I’ve been speaking my mind when I’d normally bite my tongue.  You know what?  It feels good!  Sometimes we’ll go to a place that he frequents on a regular basis and the clerk will comment how he has become nicer.  Rob whispers to me that it’s because of me.   We care about each other, push each other to be better and to do the things that we’re passionate about and/or have interest in.  He has made my world a better one and I hope that I have done the same for him.  The biggest issue I foresee is figuring out how I’m going to fit my stuff into his already full closet space.  Within a few years we’ll most likely move to a new house, but for now we’ll make this work.

With the move comes the possibility of a new job for me or a different work schedule with my current employer.  Talks of a puppy have also been had, but that will take place a little further down the road.

It’s amazing all of the changes that are going to occur in such little time.  In 30 days my world is going to be different.  Coming from a girl who has a hard time (sometimes even fears) change, this is a lot to handle but I’m extremely excited about everything that’s happening.  I finally feel like my life is coming together and that I’m where I should be.

Now, over the course of this month I have some goals….

Goals:

1.  Start packing a little each night when I get home from work.  Since my boyfriend already lives where I’ll be moving to, this move should be a little easier for me, since I won’t have to move everything at once.  My hope is that I’ll move a little each week and by the end the only thing left will be furniture.

2.  Get to the gym at least 5 times a week.  I haven’t been writing much about my eating issues lately.  They are still there and my body isn’t exactly as I’d like it to be when I go on vacation.  So, off to the gym I go to lift some iron and build some beautiful muscle.

*On a side note, someone in my life has been losing a drastic amount of weight due to not eating.  It’s someone I see everyday and spend hours with.  This has been negatively impacting my own issues.  It’s been a trigger for me, except I’m dealing with binges instead of restricting.  I keep trying to tell myself that looking that way is not where I want to be.  Been there.  Done that.  I’m going to do things right this time.  Which leads to:

3.  Using Weight Watchers online to track my eating.  I feel that Weight Watchers is a great program because you aren’t restricted in what you eat.  They push you to make healthy choices, which I already eat as it is.  I am a numbers person and this is a step in the right direction for me, seeing as I used to track what I ate on an excel spreadsheet, rotated calories and macronutrients.  I’m just trying to be healthy and “normal”.

*I’m still going to do Body For Life.  Their website isn’t updated with information for the 2011 challenge yet, but I continue to keep watch.  Once I get back from vacation, it’s on!

4.  Refrain from my binges as much as possible.  I think that if I don’t restrict myself too much during the day and then keep myself busy at night this will be possible.  I believe that there are a number of issues that lead to my binges.  Some are emotional and others are because I most likely don’t eat enough earlier in the day.  If I can work on both of these things I feel like I’ll have better success in controlling the ED.  Keeping myself busy packing my things and going to the gym in the evening should help take care of this.

So, there you have it.  Can’t wait to see what will actually be taking place in a month.  Life will definitely be getting interesting. 🙂  Do you have any big changes happening in a month?

Have a wonderful day!

Kim

World Premier of Thursday Thoughts

Whew, what a day! I don’t know about you, but my Thursday FLEW by!  I felt like I had practically just eaten breakfast when it was time for me to head out for lunch.

So, I’ve mentioned that I’ve been reading Intuitive Eating.  I’m trying to put the concepts into practice within my own life.  Everyday I eat what I think I should eat, not necessarily what I’m in the mood for.  Today, I tried to listen to my body’s hunger cues.

It was HOT, HOT, HOT here today.  I was looking forward to a refreshing breakfast of Fiber One cereal with unsweetened vanilla Almond Breeze, Strawberries and half a banana.  I throw frozen berries into my almond milk and by the time I get to work they’re perfect.  They keep my milk icy cold….just the way I like it!

 

Hot or not, coffee was consumed along with my cereal.  That’s just how I roll.

If you noticed, there was no added protein (egg whites, Muscle Milk, etc).  It’s second nature for me to throw protein into every meal.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m craving protein.  I eat it because I think I should. It’s a “rule” I’ve held myself to over the years.  I picked it up from one of the very first diets I went on and held onto it ever since.

Lunch was quick and portable.  Since it was nice out, I headed up to the park to get some reading in and soak up some sunshine.  I brought my Muscle Milk Light RTD and some roasted almonds along with me.

 

While finishing the remainder of the day’s work, my belly was grumbling “Feed Me”.  One of my coworkers had baked some banana chocolate chip muffins.  Normally, I wouldn’t even put a crumb in my mouth, because that isn’t a “safe” food to me.  There’s no label giving me the nutrition facts.  I quite easily could have asked Victor what was in the muffin, but I’m sticking with this whole Intuitive Eating thing, folks.  The muffin was what I wanted.  It wasn’t oversized and I was craving it.  I’d rather eat one muffin than end up bingeing once I got home at night.  So, I ate the muffin and paired it with some Fage. 

My belly and mind thanked me for the treat.  I later thanked Victor as I walked out the door to catch the train home.

Since my arrival I’ve been trying on outfits for tomorrow.  Today was just one of those days where I wasn’t quite happy with how things were looking.  There’s now  a heap of clothes on my bed that I’ll have to re-hang before climbing under the covers tonight.  I also consumed dinner, which wasn’t one of my norms.  I ended up blending up my strawberry protein “ice cream” and had some peanut butter on the side.  With the heat, I just wasn’t up to cooking and eating something hot or heavy.  This was perfect for tonight.

Thursday Thoughts: Intuitive Eating Intro

I decided that on Thursdays I’ll share some insight about things I’ve read or learned from various sources.  Seeing as I’m reading Intuitive Eating, I figured I would break it up into sections to discuss with you guys over the next few Thursdays.  I’m almost done with the book now, but read so fast that I didn’t take any notes.  I will go back to outline the main ideas for you all.

Remember when eating was just….simple?  Your belly grumbled, you knew it was time to eat, you ate something you craved and then you moved on to whatever else happened to be going on in your life at the time.  That is not a process I’ve experienced in what seems like forever.  I actually don’t remember experiencing it at all.  I know I must have done it at one time, but I’ve been on a diet since the 4th or 5th grade.  Most of my life has been anything other than intuitive eating.

I don’t listen to my body’s cues.  I eat on a schedule and only the things I think I should be eating.  My mom HATES when she asks if I’m hungry and my instinct is to look at the clock.  You see, I eat every 3 hours despite if I’m hungry or not.  My entire day’s meals have been mapped out since the moment my eyes open in the morning.  Sometimes they’ve even been figured out before I lay my head on the pillow at night.  It’s good to be prepared, but some things are just ridiculous. 

I no longer have cravings.  I go to restaurants, look at a menu and nothing jumps out and appeals to me.  I panic and search for what I know is safe, instead of what my body might really want.  Everything is on auto pilot.

Where have all of my rules and restrictions gotten me?  They’ve led me to yo-yo dieting, disordered eating, frustration, guilt, being unhealthy, depression and removal from social experiences & life.  It seems the more I knew about nutrition the worse off I became.  With each diet there were more rules that I added to my collection.  With each added rule I was confining myself.

As I started to read Intuitive Eating a humongous, ginormous light bulb went off in my head.  This thing could probably light up North America!  It all just clicked.  All I’ve wanted over the past few years is to be “normal”.  No diet is going to get me there.  No more diets for this girl.  Join me over the next few Thursdays as I outline what I’ve learned from Intuitive Eating.  It’s only my first week and it has been life altering. 

Ok, time to get those clothes off my bed.  By this time tomorrow we’ll have already done the Happy Dance because our weekend will have arrived!

Have a great night!

Kim