16 Weeks

Hi Friends!

I know it’s been a while. As great of an idea as it is to bring my laptop to work and blog during lunch it only works when I actually get to take my lunch break, which hasn’t been often, recently. 😦

Our computer network has been down for about an hour so I figured it was as good of a time as any to actually take my break today. Want to know what’s even better? The weather is GORGEOUS today! GORGEOUS!!

Today has been pretty positive, aside from the muttering at my desk.  You see, with the system being down, I’m unable to finish a ton of reports that need to be sent out. It’s annoying enough that the system is down, but to top it off I’ve already done these reports once before and our system didn’t have the most up to date information downloaded. I’m not talking about 1 or 2 reports. I’m talking more than 50. Sigh….

Ok, back to the positive. My day began with an awesome sweat session at the gym. I knocked out some cardio and then rocked a weight workout. My face was glistening by the time it was over and done with. Just how I like it!

Over the past week I’ve been rethinking my goals. A few months ago I mentioned wanting to step on stage for a fitness competition and after a bad experience with a trainer I decided to put the goal on the backburner. I took some time to be more balanced and focus on health, opposed to achieving a certain weight/fitness goal.

Well, the itch to achieve that forever dream of mine has been hitting me pretty strong recently. Over the weekend I tweeted to find out how to get connected with a trainer who has competition experience. Through another fitness competitor I found my answer.

I reached out to her recommended trainer last night and received not only quick feedback, but detailed. I’m not sure if I mentioned it, but I continued to get candy coated answers with the last trainer I was using and I was becoming extremely frustrated. I loved that the trainer who responded to me gave feedback, point-by-point, in response to the questions I asked of her. She won major points in my eyes just from one e-mail. She also showed concern as far as what was best for me (Ex: what worked out financially). She would help me make it work depending on what I had to work with. Bonus points for her!

I spoke to Rob about it last night. I believe I began the conversation with “Do you think you’ll kill me if I decided I want to compete again?” LOL. There might have been some eye rolling and the mention that maybe I should just get a dog, but in the end he supports me know matter what I decide to do. He just wants me to be healthy and happy. I might have mentioned to him that they have a couples program, but he exclaimed that after seeing how I workout he wants nothing to do with it. Ha-ha. Hey, go hard or go home, right? 😉

So, after Rob went to bed, I was up until the wee hours of the morning looking over the trainer’s website and the transformation stories there. Before my head hit the pillow I knew what I was going to do. I just had to see what the trainer suggested as to how many weeks it would take me to make the transformation I am looking for.

16 Weeks…

Are you ready to take the ride with me?  I’m so looking forward to seeing the end result!

Hope your first month in the new year got off to a great start for you.  Let’s make the 2nd month even better!! Have any of your goals/resolutions changed now that we’re a month into 2012?  Tell me.  I want to know. 🙂

Kim

Stressing & Dreaming

Hi Friends!

We’re over the hump and into the tail end of the week.  Hallelujah!

I’ve been extremely stressed lately with things at work and the usual stressors that most of us face.  I can tell ya that stress doesn’t do this body good.  I panic.  I linger over the things that I don’t have any control over.  I become depressed.  I know there are other ways to deal with stress more positively and I’m working on them.  There are certain things within my grasp that I know will make me happy (or at least I think they will), but due to certain factors like finances they slip through my fingers.

Stressors aside, life is good.  I couldn’t ask for better people in my life.  I’m healthy and what do you really have without your health and people who love you?  These are the things I have to remind myself of when I’m down.

I know you all know my dreams of doing something with nutrition and/or baking.  They continue to be goals of mine and I’m taking steps to make it happen.  They might be teeny tiny steps, but at least I’m moving forward.  There’s one dream I don’t think I’ve shared with you yet though….

Around the time I reached my lowest weight while suffering from my eating disorder, I was in the grocery store with my mom and my eyes spotted a Muscle & Fitness magazine.  This was before the days where fitness magazines focusing on women lined the shelves.  The magazine was geared more towards men reaching their fitness goals, but the woman on the cover caught my attention.  She was athletic  looking.  Slender, but with apparent muscle. She looked healthy which I knew I looked the opposite of.  At that point, I was like a sack of bones.  The moment I saw the magazine I KNEW that I had to change and that her figure was really my ideal.

Things didn’t magically change after getting my hands on that copy of Muscle & Fitness.  This has been a long journey and I’ve struggled to be healthy for years.  Am I much better than I was that day?  Yes, sure am.  Am I cured of my struggles?  No, but I fight them and will never give up.

I mention the magazine and what my ideal became because EVER SINCE THAT DAY I’ve wanted to compete in a figure show.  I’ve tried a few times to work towards getting on stage.  The nutrition always threw me because of my disordered eating mentality.  I knew when to back off because I didn’t want to travel further down any bad roads again.  Over the years my weight has fluctuated, but I’ve never been back at my highest or lowest weights again, fortunately.

Recently, a coach reached out to me.  When I disappeared on her, she didn’t just let me drift away, like a leaf in the wind.

She pulled me back and questioned what was going on.  It was at that time that I questioned things myself and turned a “no” into a “yes”.

I can feel it in my bones that THIS is the time.

My thinking has changed.  I’m not just looking to lose weight or fit into a certain size.  This time, I’m working to just be healthy.  Over the years, I’ve done so much to my body.  I thought that my metabolism was shot and that I’d never be able to eat more than 1200-ish calories.  I was wrong.  We’re working on repairing this poor body of mine and getting me far down the road to good health.

While I tend to make my life much more difficult than it needs to be, I can see how I can make this a lifestyle for life, through compromise on both our parts (my coach and me).  She switched things up to meet my needs and I need to let her “control the bus a little” (as she says).

Friends, I’m going to do it this time.  This is one dream I know I can make a reality.  No matter what else is going on in my life this is something that not many other factors have control over other than the hard work I need to put in.  Obviously, if my body can’t handle it or something seems like it will trigger me I will stop or see what we can do to make changes that won’t trigger me.

It’s funny because I’m so shy in person.  My mom says that stepping on stage, in a bikini of all things, is so not like me.  I think that everyone I know will have jaws on the floor when I reach this goal.  It isn’t because they don’t believe in me, but just that it’s so unlike me to be center stage.  It’s been a goal for so long though and I just can’t seem to let it go.  I think that I will kick myself years from now if I don’t at least give it a fair shot.

So, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! 😉  Now, I’m looking to you to keep me accountable.

I still have to figure out a goal date, but will know that in the very near future.  My first goal date won’t necessarily be to step on stage.  Rather, I’d like to see what my body can do and actually visit a show in person to take everything in.  We’ll set a target date to see how my body responds to different things and then go from there.

I’m going to work on keeping you updated daily on certain things (like hitting certain targets), but haven’t figured out exactly what targets just yet.  I’ll still keep you up to date on my random adventures and thoughts.  Fitness will just take up a little more space on the blog.  What do you think?

I’ll leave you with that for now and fill you in as I know more.

Have a great day!

Kim