Smiling Through Tears

Hi There,

My post is later than normal, because I got distracted with some additional work this afternoon.  The nerve of them!  Not like they aren’t giving me a paycheck ever two weeks or anything.  😉

I don’t know what happened yesterday.  I was in a pretty decent mood all day and then I was hit with sadness.  I quickly saw my mood changing towards the end of the day.  Then, I spoke with my father for part of my car ride home.  Let’s just say that was a bad move.  My heart is too soft and he was telling me certain things that made me even sadder.  It’s strange that the man can make me sad and mad at the same time.  He totally feels he’s the victim to certain things going on within the family; however, he’s the person that created all of the problems.  In the past I told him “You made the decisions that affected everyone’s lives.  Now, you can’t control people’s responses to those decisions.”  He doesn’t seem to understand that though.  Unfortunately, I don’t think he ever will.  You never know though…. 

I wish things could be different.  All I want is for everyone to be happy and healthy and knowing that isn’t the case made me even more gloomy than when I left work.  By the time I got home I had tears streaming down my cheeks.  I parked the car and cried for a little while.  I then entered the house with thoughts of sitting on the patio to read in the sun.  Instead, I headed to the couch to cry a lil more.

Crying on the couch is where Rob found me when he made it home from kiteboarding.  The man had a gash in his knee that needed stitches, but as soon as he saw my tears you could tell that all he wanted was for me to be smiling.  There’s just something about Rob that can make me smile through my tears and smile I did.  Not only did he get me to smile, but he had me cracking up.  He’ll be a great dad one day.

After earning his gold star for the day, we headed over to his sister’s house.  His sister and brother-in-law are both doctors.  His sister took care of his knee while I entertained her (almost) 2 year old twins and 7 year old son.  We read books, played with the dog, colored and jumped around.  It was a busy night for all.

At 9 PM it was time for the boys to hit the hay, so Rob & I hit the road.  We made it home to watch Royal Pains and then hit the sack ourselves.  I could barely lift my head off the pillow this morning when I tried to wake up to go to the gym.  I’ve been extremely tired lately and I think that it has a lot to do with stress.  That stress will get you every time, I tell ya!  I was much more refreshed 2 hours later when I finally did make it out of bed.

The day whizzed by and here I sit.  Two minutes left to the work day and then I’m out of here.  One day to go until the long weekend.  I’m beginning to feel like the Little Engine That Could.  I just keep chanting that I can make it one more day. 

Hope today was a good one for you!



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