Struggling With Change

Hey There,

You  ever have one of those days where you wish you could have stayed in bed, nestled under the covers?  That’s the kind of day I’m having today. Blah. The weather decided to join me in my blah state, by being as gray and gloomy as ever. 😦

Yesterday I watched as the majority of the furniture I accumulated over the years was taken away.  There are still a few pieces left which I’ll say bye-bye to on Saturday morning.  Being the mush that I am, I literally cried when the last piece was strapped into the truck.  My friend turned to me, saw the tears and said “Are you kidding????”  Haha.  I stayed at my doorway and watched the truck until I could no longer see it.

I remember doing that when my grandparents would leave after a visit with us.  I would sit and stare out he bay window in the living room until their car was no longer visible.  Sometimes I stayed a while longer.  One time my grandparents actually came back.  I remember getting so excited as they pulled back into the driveway. 🙂  I jumped up, ran to the door and opened it for them.

I get so attached to things and to people.  My boyfriend made me start laughing when he heard that I was in tears yesterday.  He reminded me that this is all for the best and that I am moving forward in my life…with him.  He said there will be new furniture, a house, toys (boat, jet ski, new kitchen appliances, etc) and freedom to redecorate in any way that I wish.  He told me how excited he is for me to be a part of his daily life and for me to be coming to live with him.  My tears turned to a big smile and laughter.

Still, I looked around my apartment before going to sleep last night with a hint of sadness.  I have a hard time with change.  I have a hard time letting go.  There’s a certain comfort that I got being surrounded by things that have been with me for years.  I am extremely excited about the future though.  I know that once I make the last drive from my apartment to my new home, my heart will be at peace again.

Work is extremely slow today.  Yesterday was bad and today is worse.  Only 1 coworker is in the office with me today.  He’s now at lunch and I’m trying to figure out how to make myself look busy when he returns.   I think I’ll wait to take my lunch break for when he comes back.  At least that will kill another hour.  😉

I hope this day is going much quicker for you!

Kim

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