Pulling the Band-Aid Off And Fixing The Inside

Hey There! 

Sorry I went MIA on ya, like that.  Promise not to do it again anytime soon.  K?  Cool. 🙂 

There have been so many (good) changes in my life lately.  I’m just trying to readjust and figure out how to fit it all into my schedule.  The new job has made me feel like I literally broke out of a mental prison.  My new office environment and type of work is so much healthier for me.  Getting to and from work also called for some adjustments.  Traffic has been building up a lot over the past few months and my patience for it was dwindling.  By the time I’d get to work I was already tense.  My grip on the steering wheel and my bitten off finger nails said it all.  I decided to take the train to my new office and it makes SUCH a difference!  I do a lot of walking now, but the ride itself is great except for those few days I have to stand the entire ride.  I’ve knocked out three books in a month because of the extra time the ride gives me to myself.  I also get a lunch break; whereas, I didn’t have one at my last job.  I love heading outside on a nice day to enjoy the sunshine, get some reading in or to take a walk and window shop.  I know myself all too well and leave my wallet at the office. 😉 

Besides the work related stuff, I decided to start this blog.  I had considered it for months and one day just decided to take the plunge.  I tend to worry about things enough that it prevents me from following through.  Jumping feet in was the best way for me to get started.  The same can be said for starting my nutrition program.  I can’t tell you how many times I went to the website and added the program to my shopping cart, only to cancel at the last second.  Last, with my mind healthier from all of the good, I decided to start a new fitness program.  I’d been a member once before, about a year ago, but there were so many things that I had to take care of that I couldn’t pay as much attention to it as I wanted to.  Now is the time!! 

So, I was reflecting about all this earlier this week.  It’s weird, but I kind of feel like everything in my life is just starting to fall into place for me.  I’ve struggled for YEARS with not feeling good enough (looks, career, etc).  I mean, I really battered myself about it all.  I became my own worst enemy.  Nothing I ever did seemed good enough.  I thought that once I got to my happy weight everything would work itself out and I would be happy.  You know what though, I was never truly happy.  I’d get to a weight goal and then think “Just 5 more pounds.”  I’d go to extremes that I couldn’t continue for life and end up gaining again.  You know what I realized?  By fixating on my weight I was able to ignore the true problems.  The problems I should have been facing head on.  Diets were just a bandage.  That’s why the weight always came back on whenever things in my life were rocky.  For so many years I was doing things backwards.  I’m not sure what happened, but lately things just started to click.  I had to lose my mental “weight” in order to get to my healthy physical weight.  I had to pull the band-aid off and really fix what was going on inside, instead of focusing on what diet to try next in order to lose weight. I can honestly say that since I’ve started working on the inside, pursuing the things I’ve been interested in and stepping out of my comfort zone my weight struggles have been lessened greatly.  I still have about 15lbs that I’d like to work off from my depression over the fall.  I’m not obsessing though.  I know it will come off, especially since I have some guidance now.  The best thing of all is not having the binges or even thoughts of them anymore.  So freeing!  So wonderful not to wake up already mad at myself for something I did the night before.  I’m sure I’ll trip along the way, because no one is perfect, right?  However, I won’t be having problems almost every night, which is what I had been going through.  Anyway……man, I wasn’t expecting that tangent!! 

I’m sure you’re wondering what this program is that I’m starting.  I’ll do a full post about it this weekend.  I’m thinking that I’ll post once per week with my progress and if I’m brave enough I’ll even post progress pics.  Today was my 3rd day on program and I’m loving it!  It feels so good to be back in the gym again.  I missed lifting! 

Ok, now a little about my day and then I promise I’ll stop chewing your ear off…. 

First thing this morning I headed to the gym to get some cardio in.  I almost talked myself out of it to roll over and sleep another hour, but then I visualized my goals and kicked my booty out of bed. 

By 8:25 I was on the train and couldn’t wait to get to work to get my breakfast in my belly.  I was starving!  A delicious bowl of Cinnamon Protein Oats was in store for me.  Somehow they came out extra creamy today, even though I didn’t do anything different than usual.  Hope they’re that way tomorrow too! 


Before I knew it, lunch time had arrived.  Some of my mom’s grilled lemon chicken (recipe to follow tomorrow) atop a bed of romaine with some nuts, chopped carrot, red pepper and mushroom kept me fueled for a few more hours. 

Excuse The Classless Paper Plate

It Was Perfect

After heading out to read for part of my lunch break before the rain decided to ruin my fun I came back to finish some work.  I also had some fat free greek yogurt mixed with strawberries.  I pack the strawberries frozen in the morning and by the time they’re ready to eat they’ve thawed.  The extra juice from the berries makes this snack extra yummy. 


Delicious Swirls of Strawberry Goodness!

I may have read a few of my favorite blogs after this.  Don’t tell the boss man though. 😉  I finished up my work and then was heading down the avenue to catch my train.  I got a seat to myself and everything!  I love how it’s still light out when I get home.  What a difference that makes compared to the winter!  I don’t feel like I should be in bed as I’m eating dinner. 

Speaking of dinner, tonight’s was rather tasty.  A mixture of ground turkey, kidney beans, broccoli, mushroom, onion, red pepper and salsa totally satisfied my grumbling belly.  Quick, healthy and tasty = Perfecto! 



Not The Prettiest, But Def Delish!

There you have it folks.  I’m off to get changed into some comfy lounging clothes and study some more of my nutrition course.  I hope you have a wonderful night and I’ll talk to ya tomorrow.  I’ll be doing the happy dance because it’ll be FRIDAY! 🙂


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