About

My Tale:

Let’s see – Where do I start?…

Growing up, weight was always an issue for me.  By the end of my freshman year of high school my weight was a whopping 186lbs on my 5’4″ frame.  I remember going shopping with my much thinner friends and walking outside to cry because nothing in the store would even slide halfway up one of my legs.  The turning point came the summer before my sophomore year of high school when I was crying in bed one night, thinking about the sophomore dance that would be coming up in the spring.  I knew that the dress options for someone like me would be limited and I wasn’t happy with my appearance.  I was tired of being teased at school and tired of looking in the mirror and hating what I saw.  My mom happened to hear me crying that night and she helped me find a program at a local gym to aide in my weightloss efforts. 

Almost at My Biggest....Wider Than My Dad

 I still remember meeting with my consultant that day.  She told me, “You’re going to do this.”  You know what?  I did!  It was through moderation, mostly healthy eats and some activity that I lost the weight.  I couldn’t have been happier slipping into the dress of my dreams for my sophomore ring dance. 

Summer Before My Senior Year

Now, if this were a fairytale I would have met my Prince Charming at the dance and that would have been the end of my story; however, it’s 15 years later and my story is still ongoing.  After my initial weightloss of 71lbs, family and people at school became concerned.  They thought I was too skinny. Eventually, my parents put me on weight gainers shakes. Me? The girl who dieted her entire life to get to this point was now being set up to gain weight?!?!  This threw me into a panic.  I liked how I looked.  I worked my whole life towards this point and I felt like it was just going to get taken away from me….Just. Like. That. 

I tend to be a pleaser.  I respected my parents’ wishes and started taking the shakes, but played around with my other meals to make up for the added calories.  It was at this point that I’d say my eating disorder showed its nasty head.  Looking back now, I see that there were problems from childhood.  Food had been a source of comfort for me, back then.  Being the pleaser I am, I always did what I thought would make others happy and then I think that I turned to food to feel good.  I’ll touch more on that later.  Where were we?  Oh yes, taking the shakes.  I graduated high school at 128lbs.  I wasn’t happy with the extra 13lbs they’d had me put on.  I went away to college and was scared to death of this thing called the Freshman 15, I’d heard so many things about.  No way was I going to let that happen to me.  I stuck to the salad bar, loading my plate with a large variety of veggies, lean meats and good carbs.  As time went on, that plate had less and less on it.  In the end, I was eating a pile of romaine, a few other veggies and balsamic vinegar.  Sometimes I’d have an apple or some fat free frozen yogurt, but a day of eats hardly ever went above 400 calories, which included calories in the gum I chewed.  Honestly, I don’t even know how I made it through that year.  I was 90lbs when I got home from school and wasn’t able to go back for my sophomore year.

Getting Too Thin...Wearing Layers

In the years since then, my weight has been up and down, never reaching my highest or lowest points again.  I started having problems with binges and depression.  Through it all, I eventually did graduate from college and started working.  I’m still a work in progress.  At the ripe old age of 31, I’m just now starting to LIVE my life, instead of watching it pass me by.  I already wasted too many years, allowing my weight to determine where my life was going.  You see, I tend to be a perfectionist; hence the name of my blog.  Unless I knew I could do something perfectly I probably wouldn’t even try or if I was in the midst of doing something and realized I couldn’t do it perfectly I would stop reaching for my goals.  Many times I’d tell myself that when I reach “X” amount of pounds that is when I would do something (Ex: buy a new dress, go on a vacation, go out with friends, etc).  No one is perfect though.  I realize that I am my own worst critic.  Sometimes, when I see myself through others’ eyes I am touched.  They are so much kinder to me and my flaws.  I would never criticize anyone the way I do myself.  So, it is time to start a new chapter.  A chapter where I accept my flaws and realize that I am perfect just the way I am.  It is our imperfections and our struggles that make us who we are.  I will no longer allow my weight to define me as a person.  There is just so much more to life and I’m excited to start living!

I invite you to follow me on my journey to living and loving life.  I’m ready to take on new challenges, push myself into new situations, become fitter and accept myself….imperfections and all. :)

25 thoughts on “About

  1. Pingback: Welcome to Imperfectly Perfect! | Imperfectly Perfect….and learning to love it

  2. Kim- I love this blog and added it to my favorites- wait it is the only blog I read!!! I am so proud of you for starting this and doing the things you want to do! It is never too late! Love ya lots!

    Bincy

    • Thank you so much, Bincy! That means a lot to me. I’m glad that you enjoy reading. I still have some tweaking to do, but I feel like I’m finally on the right path with things. I’m glad that I got to cross paths with you in my travels to this point and hopefully we will get together soon for those manis! Thanks for being my first commenter!!

      Miss & Love Ya!
      Kim

  3. I am so glad I came across your blog! I found you on the HLS Twitter list. I love your honestly and have recently posted about my struggles in the past with eating and weight. We are all works in progress for sure! I’ll definitely come back to visit often. :)

  4. Hi Dorry! Thanks for stopping by! I think it has helped me a lot to just get my thoughts out in the open. I also feel that sometimes others see you one way and don’t realize what you’ve been through. I know reading about others beating their demons has given me the inspiration to keep battling my own. Yet, when you look at them you never would have guessed that they ever struggled. I will check your site out and hopefully we will see each other at the HLS. I’m excited!!

  5. Thank you for sharing your story….we are all our own worst critics for sure. The blogging community has been fabulous for my low self-confidence though, and I hope it helps you feel better about yourself as well!

    You look great by the way! Not a day over 25!!

  6. Blogging has been wonderful. It’s nice interacting with others who understand and/or are trying to live the same healthy, balanced lifestyle. I tend to be on the shy side, so I end up keeping a lot of my thoughts held in. Blogging allows me to just let everything out. I’m glad that it has been so positve for your self confidence!!

    Haha. Thank you! Everyone always thinks that I’m younger than I am. I’m definitely not complaining! :)

  7. When I found your blog, I took one look at your profile picture and went “there is NO way that this girl could have gone through an eating disorder”. I then came to your about me section, read it right now, and went “things arent as they appear.”
    Your story is inspiring, and I applaud you for winning the battle. Btw, you’re so pretty! :)

  8. Thank you so much! I think that so many of us are able to hide behind our smiles and just put on a happy face to cover up what might not be quite right. There are people we aspire to be like and we don’t even realize the struggles they deal with under the surface.

    I still have some work to do, but I’m in a much healthier place than I’ve been in years. Thank you for stopping by!! :)

  9. kimmy!!! i found your blog through lisa’s comments lol and i’ll def be following along here since i miss you on o2!

    love your new outlook too :) i’ve struggled in the past too and realize now that life is too short to waste on numbers, weight, and obsessive behavior.
    anyway, i’m excited to follow along here! yayy

  10. Awww, Sunny!!! I miss you O2 girls! For some reason that just wasn’t healthy for me. I’ve found blogging to be a really positive experience though. I’m so glad that you found me and I’m glad we can keep in touch! :)

  11. What a wonderful story. I can tell there are many who are rooting you on. You are a beautiful woman, and your words are inspiring. I myself am in recovery, but from a devistating drug and alcohol addiction, but I personally think struggling with food/eating is probably much, much harder. You don’t have to do drugs to survive, but you DO have to eat to survive, and I cant imagine how difficult that is. I wish you success in everything you do, and more than that happiness! I came across your blog randomly, and I am glad I did. Hope to hear more from you in the future. You are fabulous, you go girl!

    • I think that the disordered eating will always be a part of me, in some way. How I handle it has gotten much better over time. Don’t belittle your own issues though. We each have our own demons and struggles in life. No matter how simple things seem to others they may not be as simple to us. I’ve had friends/boyfriends who didn’t understand what I was going through. One guy used to laugh about my binges. I think it was his way to make me feel better, but it made me feel like he really didn’t hear what I was saying. I had friends who said “just stop”. Believe me, if it was that easy I wouldn’t have been struggling with this for over a decade. Keep up the great work! I’m rooting for you and I’m sure there are others, as well. Thank you for leaving such a nice message. :)

    • Jess – a prison is exactly how I picture my ED. I’ve literally pictured myself behind bars, frantic to get out. I hope you have defeated your eating issues (or are on your way to). I wouldn’t wish the struggle on my worst enemy. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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